Alienation.

Sometimes I feel that even though I am stuck in a group of people I am utterly alone. I can be smiling and seated in the middle of the group, but I feel absolutely no connection with the lively conversation that is going on around me. They seem like empty words just hurled at one another and I find no solace in the barrage. Stories and tall tales are exchanged and I have none that seem to fit the call of entertainment or relevance. If I am brave and raise of my voice it seems to fall on deaf ears or at least apathetic ones. Even if they are trying to listen, they do not seem to be able to understand what I am really saying. What is it that makes me so set apart? I do not seem to find joy in the same things and long for something more. I want something that is more real and full than anything that I have yet been able to find on this earth. Sometimes it feels closer than others. At simple quiet times and at incandescently happy times, there is a sense that something more is peeking through into this rushed and busy life.

As we go on with life the best times are those when you feel the closest to eternity. It is almost like it is so close you can reach out and touch it. Like when the stars in a clear night sky sparkle so furiously that you feel like you could breath at them and they would tumble down in a shower of shimmering happiness. Like when the horizon is ablaze in unearthly colours that are so achingly beautiful you can help but stop and stare. Like when sitting in a comfy spot with a dear friend, just enjoying the soft, velvet of contented silence.

It is with the hope of finding a never ending eternal happiness that we continue on with this already but not yet life here on earth. One day we will know what we don't and long to. We will no longer be aliens and sojourners in this strange world. We will be brought into the promised land of love and continual glorification of he who is worthy.